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'Dear Friends' July 2010

 

Week of July 5, 2010
Prayer Requests
  

Eating Right

Dear Friends:

      Strange to say, but in countries where food is plentiful and cheap, it can be hard to eat right. You know what we mean. It can be tough to steer clear of the fast-food places and the treats loaded with sugar, fat and salt. (But that combination is so delicious!) As a caregiver, you need to take in the right kind of fuel to keep going. As a care-receiver, your diet has to feature nutritious items.
       Yes, we all know this. Yes, we all -- at times -- slip up.
       "Encouraging Good Nutrition" is the focus of a new Topic here on YourAgingParent.com and for July's Catholic Caregivers flier.    Here's an excerpt (or should we say "a little taste?):

     Helping your care-receiver develop and maintain a healthy, well-balanced diet can be a considerable challenge, especially if youíre an adult child taking care of an aging parent.
     As a body ages, the digestive system is more prone to heartburn and constipation. Dental problems may make chewing painful. Some medications suppress a personís appetite or promote weight gain. Depression can bring on a change in appetite. Dad may simply not care about food. If Mom has memory loss, she may forget to eat or may think she has eaten. Finances may be tight. Some older people, after paying rent and utility bills, have little left over for buying food.
     It can also be difficult to eat properly when youíre alone. Itís so much easier to skip a meal or nibble on less nutritious foods when no one else is there.

       You can read more here and the flier is available here.

- - -

       We've posted the July Bulletin Briefs and Prayers of Intercession at CatholicCaregivers.com.

- - -

       Also, we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.
       No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).
       You can:

        sign up on-line here
       
        or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)
      
        or print and mail an application form.

       God bless you!

                                                          Monica and Bill

To contact us
To join FSJC
To make a donation
To view or make prayer requests
Materials order form
Past "Dear Friends" notes
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of July 12, 2010
Prayer Requests
  

A Care-receiver's Losses

Dear Friends:

      As a caregiver, you know it can be hard doing more. As a caregiver, you know there's a lot more to do now than there was a few years, a few months, a few weeks ago. A good portion of your time, energy, and attention are focused on helping your loved one.
       What you might not realize is that, as a care-receiver, it can be hard doing less. What you were able to do a few years, a few months or even a few weeks ago, you can't do right now. And some of those things, you'll never be able to do again.
        That ability (walking around the block, for example) or the joy and satisfaction that came from completing that task (weeding the garden, for instance) are gone.
       You can read more about those kinds of losses here. And it's the subject of Monica's talk on this video:

 

       You can find more videos on our YouTube channel: JohnTheCaregiver.     

  - - -

       Please join us in welcoming Sister Charline S. of Texas as the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep her and her intentions in your prayers. She's promised to pray for you and yours.
       Also, we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.
       No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).
       You can:

        sign up on-line here
       
        or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)
      
        or print and mail an application form.

       God bless you!

                                                          Monica and Bill

To contact us
To join FSJC
To make a donation
To view or make prayer requests
Materials order form
Past "Dear Friends" notes
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of July 19, 2010
Prayer Requests
  

The 'WABAC Machine' is Broken

Dear Friends:

      Call it "20/20 hindsight" or "Monday-morning quarterbacking," the feeling is the same. "If I had known then what I know now, I never would have . . . . " Or perhaps "If I had known then what I know now, I can see I should have . . . ."
       It's easy to second-guess yourself when you're caregiving. There are a lot of decisions. A lot of choices. A lot of times you feel as if you're in over your head. Perhaps no solution to the latest concern seems good. Perhaps several of them seem solid. How do you choose the best one? That's the focus for one of the Topics on YourAgingParent.com. Here's how it begins:

     It's not unusual for a family caregiver to discover that an unexpected problem is all the number of possible solutions.
     After looking carefully at your care-receiver's needs and the various ways to meet those needs, it may become clear there is no single right choice. There may be many choices, each with merit.
     So which is best for him or her? How can you be sure you and your loved one are making the right decision?
     The following are basic principles used when assisting someone who needs care. It can help a family to consider each when trying to reach a decision.
 

       You can read more here.
       But still . . . .
       Looking back on some of your choices, how do you let go of those feelings of guilt about a decision that didn't work out as you and your care-receiver had hoped it would?
       It can help to remember the "WABAC machine"  is broken. (The WABAC (pronounced "way back") was a device on The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show that allowed time travel.)
       In other words, you can't go back in time and change what's happened. If you made a mistake, learn from it and move on. Or as someone once put it: "It's tough to move forward if you refuse to take your eyes off the rear-view mirror."

  - - -

       Please join us in welcoming Claro W. of Nevada, Heather G. of New York and Claire L. of Colorado as the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They've promised to pray for you and yours.
       Also, we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.
       No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).
       You can:

        sign up on-line here
       
        or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)
      
        or print and mail an application form.

       God bless you!

                                                          Monica and Bill

To contact us
To join FSJC
To make a donation
To view or make prayer requests
Materials order form
Past "Dear Friends" notes
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of July 26, 2010
Prayer Requests
  

Martha, Mary and Caregiving

Dear Friends:

      This Thursday, July 29, is the feast of St. Martha. Many caregivers find it easy to identify with her. How can you be a caregiver and not be a "Martha"? Not, in Jesus' words, be "anxious and worried abut many things"?
       On her feast day, one Gospel choice is the story from Luke 10:38-42 that tells of Martha and her sister Mary. You probably know it. (And, perhaps, it makes you grind your teeth a little just thinking about it.)

       Jesus entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. She had a sister named Mary who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak. Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me." The Lord said to her in reply, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her."

       As a caregiver, you can -- like Martha -- at times feel "burdened with much serving." So what is Jesus telling Martha? What is he telling you? Don't be of service? Of course not. For a time, as a caregiver, the way you -- like Mary -- sit "beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak" is by taking care of your loved one. As the Prayer to St. John, Patron of Caregivers says:

Pray for us, that as we go about our many caregiving
duties, we may never lose sight of that truth
which Christ revealed to His disciples:
"Whatever you did for one of these,
you did for Me." Amen.

       As a caregiver, it's easy to be "anxious and worried about many things" because it can be hard to loosen up on non-caregiving responsibilities. (The house needs vacuuming. The weeds are going wild in the garden. The birthday cards aren't being sent on time to loved ones.)
       "The New Jerome Biblical Commentary" says this about Jesus' "one thing": "The lesson is not that one should prepare a casserole rather than a seven-course meal. One thing undergirds all following of Jesus: listening to his word . . . and that is the best part."
       If you've accepted the "vocation" of caregiver, you're listening well! And you're following the advice the Blessed Mother gave to the servers at the wedding feast at Cana: "Do whatever he tells you" (John 2:5).

- - -

       At the same time . . . Caregiving is a family affair. Here's some advice when siblings share -- or don't share -- caregiving responsibilities.

- - -

       Please join us in welcoming Carmela F. of New Jersey and Jun C. of Connecticut as the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They've promised to pray for you and yours.
       Also, we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.
       No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).
       You can:

        sign up on-line here
       
        or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)
      
        or print and mail an application form.

       God bless you!

                                                          Monica and Bill

To contact us
To join FSJC
To make a donation
To view or make prayer requests
Materials order form
Past "Dear Friends" notes
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter
 

 

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