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Dear Friends

male caregiver

Help for Men Who Are Caregivers

Week of August 8, 2021
Prayer Requests

Dear Friends,

When my late wife Monica and I began the Fiends of St. John the Caregiver in 2005, male caregivers seemed to be a rare breed. Less so these days. And with that in mind, here  are a few suggestions and points to consider if you’re a guy taking care of a loved one:

--Boot camp, raising kids and surviving for years in the workplace may seem like walks in the park compared to what you're doing now.

--Yes, caregiving can be lonely but, no, you don't have to go it alone. Look into respite care. Even a few hours a week can make a big difference. Consider what formal and informal help may be available. (Formal would be a visiting healthcare worker or adult day center, for example. Informal could be family, friends and fellow parishioners.)

--You may have never been much of a joiner or "sharer" (more the loner, tight-lipped type of fellow), but you may find a support group very helpful. Some groups are "guys only." Some focus on a particular issue, such as Alzheimer's disease or cancer.

--It's okay  if there are some things you just can't do. Maybe it's personal care. You can hire someone to help with that. Then, too, even if there are things you can do maybe your time is better spent with your care-receiver. Again, it may mean hiring someone (for that cooking and cleaning, for example) so you can spend more time doing something pleasant with your loved one.

--Realize that you may already be grieving. Because of dementia, Mom or Dad is slipping away. Because of your wife's illness, the retirement hopes and dreams the two of you had just aren't going to be possible.

--Do something fun just for you. At first glance this may seem selfish but it will help you become a better caregiver. (And, certainly, if you and your care-receiver's roles were reversed, you’d want that person to take a break and do something he or she enjoyed.)

--Begin or deepen your spiritual side. Be aware that, in the midst of it all, the God who asked you to help his beloved son or daughter is always with you. Always.

The above is an excerpt from "Help for Men Who are Family Caregivers."

It's on our sister site, You can find dozens of our caregiver topics there.

You remain in my prayers,


- - -

This week we're so pleased to welcome Kay H. of California and Maureen D. of Pennsylvania as the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep her and her intentions in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and yours.

Again this week we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include and You can find out more about becoming a member here.

No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).

You can:

sign up on-line here

or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)

or print and mail an application form.

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