Happy
Mother's Day -- May 9 -- to all moms in the Australia,
Canada, China, Fiji, Malaysia, the Philippines, Puerto
Rico and the
United
States. And a belated Happy Mother's Day -- March 14 --
to moms in England, Ireland, Nigeria and Scotland.
Why did we single out those countries?
There are members of the Friends of St. John the
Caregiver in all of them. So when we say members
worldwide are praying for caregivers and care-receivers,
we mean worldwide!
And a happy day -- with love and
prayers -- to all . . . grandmothers, godmothers, aunts,
sisters, daughters, granddaughters, goddaughters . . .
and female cousins, teachers, coaches, mentors and more.
To all the lovely ladies in all our lives, past and
present.
If your loved one is suffering from depression—and
is not just “down in the dumps” for a while—he or
she can’t “will it” away. Your care-receiver can’t
simply decide, “I’m not going to be depressed
anymore.” Research shows that depression often has a
physiological and emotional basis and is treatable. Then, too, with all your responsibilities, you yourself
might be vulnerable to depression. Among the commonly accepted signs of depression are: —A persistently sad, anxious, or empty mood —Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, and apathy —Feelings of worthlessness, helplessness, and guilt —Frequent crying —A loss of interest in doing things that were once
pleasurable —Disturbed sleep: insomnia, early waking, or
oversleeping —Disturbed eating: a loss of appetite, weight gain, or
weight loss —Decreased energy and constant fatigue —Recurring aches and pains —Restlessness and irritability —Difficulty performing daily tasks, such as going to
work —Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making
decisions —Neglect in personal appearance —Thoughts of death or suicide It may be easier for you to see the signs of depression in
your care-receiver than for that person to see the signs in himself
or herself. Most people with depression need counseling and/or
medication. They need to become better educated about the cycle of
depression and learn how to better cope with stress.
This week we're so pleased to welcome two new members to
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver. "Hello" to Lenore D-H. in
Connecticut and Margaret I. in Washington state. Please keep them and
their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to
pray for you and yours.
Also, we cordially invite you to join! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
We've
written about how we chose
St. John the Apostle to be the patron saint of
caregivers but have never shared how the
name
of the organization came to be the Friends of St.
John the Caregiver. "Friends" was Monica's preference
but Bill really wanted "Society" and so Monica agreed to
that. Apparently, the Holy Spirit voted with Monica,
tipping the scale 2-1. When Bill went to buy the domain
name SSJC he discovered it was already taken (by the
Society of St. John Chrysostom). What was available? Of
course: FSJC.org.
That was five years ago this fall. Not long
after that we "put the Holy Spirit in charge of
marketing" and, we have to say, he's done a bang-up job!
He continues to amaze and astound us. (We know who
deserves the credit. Our "marketing director" is
responsible for the success that's happened over the
last five years. Truly, the two of us aren't that smart,
wise or holy.)
Again, this week we could see that
"Friends" is the right word. The outpouring of prayers
and support in response to news about Monica's health
concerns (in the
Spring 2010 newsletter) was tremendous. Thank you
all so very, very much.
Thank you, FSJC members and all others, for
the prayers said "around the world" for all caregivers
and care-receivers. What a difference those prayers make
to so many individuals, to so many families. What a
blessing they are.
What a blessing you are!
- - -
Speaking of prayer requests . . . . We always include a
list with the quarterly newsletter but there's a
current list online,
too. Please don't hesitate to send in your intentions.
- - -
And speaking of members . . . .This week we're so pleased to welcome three
new members. Please say "Hello" to Jeanne B. in Florida,
Colleen F. in Ohio, and Donna R. in Pennsylvania. Please keep them and
their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to
pray for you and yours.
Also, we cordially invite you to join! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
Last
week we wrote a little bit about the Holy Spirit but
it's this week -- next Sunday -- that the Church
celebrates the feast of
Pentecost when the Holy Spirit
descended on those timid apostles and gave them amazing
courage.
St. Luke's account in the Acts of the Apostles talks
about the driving wind and the tongues of fire but, if
you're like us, you've never experienced either from the
Third Person of the Blessed Trinity. In our lives, and
we suspect in the lives of most caregivers and
care-receivers, it's a little nudge here, a gentle push
there.
It's a wisp of wisdom or a crumb of courage
that prompts us not only to think "I should do this!"
but helps us take that first small step toward it. What
"this" should we do? That varies not only from person
to person, but for each person depending on the
circumstances at this time in of his or her life.
It could be the Holy Spirit is prompting
you to tackle
some item that's been on your to-do list for quite a
while. It could be the Holy Spirit is advising you to cross
some items off that long list of all you already do. How
can you tell if what you're considering is from the Holy
Spirit? A good gauge is the fruits -- the good things,
the blessings, the graces -- that start to follow once
you begin.
Perhaps if you tackled that to-do item you'd
feel a tremendous sense of relief. "It wasn't that tough or
complicated after all!" you might end up saying to
yourself. "Why didn't I just get it over with
months ago?"
On the other hand, maybe by doing less you
find you have more patience as a caregiver or a
care-receiver. "Why did I keep thinking I had to do
that?" you may come to ask yourself. "It was nice but
there are so many other things that are so much more
important right now, including my own peace of mind and
my relationship with my loved one."
Among all the good news here is that the
same Holy Spirit that blew through that upper room is
ready, willing and able to enter more fully into your
life. The
Lord and Giver of Life wants your life to be
better, right here, right now.
A final point, which you might notice in
some of the later artwork in the video below: The
Blessed Mother (a care-receiver) and St. John the
Apostle (her caregiver) were there on that first
Pentecost!
- - -
Get ready for Pentecost 2010 with this little
six-and-a-half minute "retreat"! Come, Holy Spirit,
come!
- - -
This week we're so pleased to welcome
four
new members to the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please say "Hello" to
Colleen F. and Mary P. in Ohio, Bobbie M. in California,
and Donna R. in Pennsylvania Please keep them and
their intentions in your prayers. They've promised to
pray for you and yours.
Also, we cordially invite you to join! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
No
doubt you're familiar with the advice to "let go and let
God." A facet of letting go that you may not have
considered is . . . .
Lingering
over a second cup of coffee. Ordering take-out instead
of preparing dinner. Just sitting and staring out the
window even though it seems there are a thousand things
you should be doing.
In the words of Jesus to his disciples:
"Come away . . . and rest awhile" (Mark
6:31).
That's why we're offering you the
Coupon for Caregivers.
It's our way of encouraging you to take a guilt-free
break!
Clip it out, keep it with you, and use it
as often as necessary.
Give copies to your friends and family who
are caregivers, too!
- - -
This week we're so pleased to welcome
Jeremiah E. of the Philippines as the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep
him and his intentions in your prayers. He has promised to
pray for you and yours.
Also, we cordially invite you to join! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
It
can be hard to forgive someone else. Harder still to
accept another's forgiveness. And hardest of all to
forgive ourselves. They're
each
a part of caregiving and care-receiving but why is the
last one the toughest? Perhaps it's because we more
easily cut another person some slack but -- mistakenly
-- believe we should be held to a higher standard. Maybe
in some specific situations that's true but the standard
can't be perfection. There are no perfect caregivers.
And the last care-receiver who was without any blame was
the Blessed Mother.
It might help to note that God calls us to
forgive all those who "trespass against us" and
sometimes we are our own worst enemies. (We all feel
guilt!) In the words of
St. Paul, "What I do, I do not understand. For I do not
do what I want, but I do what I hate" (Romans
7:15).
Caregiving and care-receiving can take a
lot of work. They can take a lot of energy.
Neither person can afford to use work and energy -- to
waste time and emotion -- by clinging to self-blame.
Perhaps it helps to consider that one way you can make
it up to your loved one is to accept forgiveness and
move on. It's what he or she wants you to do.
- - -
This video, which was part of the "That Catholic Show"
series, offers a solid -- and entertaining -- look at the
sacrament of Reconciliation. Penance. Confession. And
talk about "imperfection," enjoy the "outtakes" -- the
bloopers -- at the end of the video!
- - -
This week we're so pleased to welcome
three new members to the Friends of St. John the Caregiver.
"Hello" to Sharon H. of Pennsylvania, Father Terry R. of
Colorado, and Roxanne K. of Ohio. Please keep them and
their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to
pray for you and yours.
Also, we cordially invite you to join! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
United
States. And a belated Happy Mother's Day -- March 14 --
to moms in England, Ireland, Nigeria and Scotland.
name
of the organization came to be the Friends of St.
John the Caregiver. "Friends" was Monica's preference
but Bill really wanted "Society" and so Monica agreed to
that. Apparently, the Holy Spirit voted with Monica,
tipping the scale 2-1. When Bill went to buy the domain
name SSJC he discovered it was already taken (by the
Society of St. John Chrysostom). What was available? Of
course: 
Pentecost when the Holy Spirit
descended on those timid apostles and gave them amazing
courage. 
Lingering
over a second cup of coffee. Ordering take-out instead
of preparing dinner. Just sitting and staring out the
window even though it seems there are a thousand things
you should be doing.
each
a part of caregiving and care-receiving but why is the
last one the toughest? Perhaps it's because we more
easily cut another person some slack but -- mistakenly
-- believe we should be held to a higher standard. Maybe
in some specific situations that's true but the standard
can't be perfection. There are no perfect caregivers.
And the last care-receiver who was without any blame was
the Blessed Mother.