Dear Friends
Summer Plans When You're
a Long-Distance Caregiver
Week of June 16, 2014
Prayer Requests
Dear Friends,
Your friends, neighbors and co-workers may be talking about upcoming vacation travel plans, but if you're a "long-distance caregiver" your time off may mean heading out to spend time with an aging parent who lives in another part of the country.
These are some suggestions to consider:
--Plan ahead. Maybe you want to call
Dad’s doctor and others working with him and—with your parent’s
permission—arrange appointments to discuss how he’s doing. If
possible, include your father in any meetings.
--Be prepared for medical questions.
When you do meet the doctor, have your list of questions and
concerns ready, based on the what Mom has said—and not said—during
your telephone conversations, on what you have observed during this
visit with her, and on the most current assessment.
--Don’t panic. You may encounter
what seem like drastic changes, including a great deal of
deterioration. Because you haven’t witnessed those changes on a
day-by-day or week-by-week basis, the difference between now and six
months ago may seem more startling to you than to your parent or a
sibling who has been around more frequently. Their failure to
mention these changes to you does not mean they have been hiding
them from you, they simply may not see them. You each have a unique
perspective; all are helpful when trying to make an accurate
evaluation.
--Don’t charge into town with all the
answers. This will often meet stiff resistance, not just from
Dad but from your siblings who may live closer and also have been
playing a role in taking care of him. Ask how you can help and offer
suggestions. Work with your father and siblings.
--Think small. Prioritize the needs.
Begin with suggestions that are least threatening and that allow
your parent the greatest amount of independence. You are not going
to fix all the problems in one visit. Give yourself time. Becoming
agitated with yourself, your parent or your siblings only gets in
the way.
Your role is something new not just to you
but to our society. In the past, most extended family members lived
close to one another and those who did move far away returned
infrequently, if at all. Modern means of transportation and
communication have made our world smaller and the role of
long-distance caregiver possible.
You can read more about this topic here. It's one of the many fliers that are available on our CatholicCaregivers.com site.
- - -
This week we're so pleased to welcome Nancy W. of California as newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep her and her intentions in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and yours.
Again we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).
You can:
sign up on-line here
or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)
or
print and mail an application form.
God bless you!
Bill